Today I modelled my swimwear and various other garments I designed and made throughout this past year. The fashion show was our "end-of-year gig" and was open to the public at the Eumundi Markets, QLD Australia. Anyway, this modelling was a challenge that I gave myself as I felt it was important to display a variety of peoples' exteriors in the show.
And so I walked.
With my short hair, and my flat shoes.
My 167cm height and my freckles.
My tattoos, brandings and piercings' scars.
My tummy, thighs and toenails.
My arms, my legs and my elbows... my exterior was on display.
Now I know fashion shows are done to showcase the clothes but we all know that when that person who's wearing them is walking down the runway we're checking out their body also. Judging them, judging ourselves, trying to ascertain how we stack up next to them.
As if the people on the catwalk are the pinnacles of human exteriors and we must strive to attain an exterior of their 'level'. You know what? It's bullshit. You've been sold a lie. A lie that is peddled so that you will feel shit about yourself and the only thing that could possibly make you feel better is if you buy x/y/z product/outfit and hopefully, maybe, you might have a chance to look like the person you originally saw it on. Well, you're never going to. Not even the models look like each other, except that they're usually over 178cm.
As someone who in my early teens struggled for years with disordered eating, anorexia and bulimia (A trifecta! Winning!) in an effort to affect the way I looked, I am super happy to say that I now love my body. It does all of the things that I would like/need it to do and I'm quite happy with the way I'm constructing this argument and processing my emotions.
I feel quite raw emotionally from the event today, and I know that I just need to ride it out, but I hate that this topic is something that can trigger this feeling. If we were able to let go of our body hang ups and truly embrace, love and nourish ourselves in a way that enables us to be healthy emotionally, mentally and physically then imagine what we could achieve! We would free up so much thinking space. Our imaginations would be free to dream about anything and everything and we would have the self-belief to be able to explore the possibilities.
I feel like I'm getting there and it's a fucking awesome feeling.
Oh, and I also received the Innovation Award today for my first year studying Applied Fashion Design and Technology. Pretty stoked.
♥ Yasmin
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